Anxiety’s Kryptonite? Curiosity!

This all leads to a chain reaction of emotional events that is difficult to interrupt because it feeds into a neurocognitive cycle of anxiety and worry. Further complicating the situation, worrying is incredibly easy to fall into because for most of us it’s an ingrained habit that has become a default response. Uncertainty, in an organization, poses a special challenge for leaders who may be struggling to manage their own anxiety while also calming the concerns of others.

Resilient Leadership offers many tools for navigating uncertainty and the anxiety it often triggers, but one of the most transformative is: curiosity. Like trying to pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time, curiosity and anxiety don’t play well together because they use different processes in the brain. Uncertainty taps into fear-based states in the brain, often getting us caught up in fight-or-flight responses and the resulting anxiety is focused on “what if.”  Curiosity, on the other hand, activates different pathways in the brain, fostering a sense of exploration and creativity, shifting focus to a more productive “what’s next.” Studies have shown that tapping into genuine curiosity in the face of stress can significantly reduce anxiety levels.

Shifting Into Curiosity

• Bringing wonder to mind is a short-cut to bringing curiosity online!  When you find yourself amid uncertainty or change and notice your stress level rising, first take a breath and pause. Then grab a pen and piece of paper and write down three “I wonder” questions.  For example, “I wonder what would happen if I tried a different approach?” or even “I wonder what it is about this situation that makes me feel this way”  Taking this intentional time to pause and write down your thoughts encourages reflection while it also invites exploration.
• Mentally put on your metaphorical white lab coat and look at what’s happening as a science experiment. You might ask yourself “What hypotheses can I test?” or “What information am I collecting from this experience?” Experimentation is all about collecting and considering data which can make a challenge feel more like an opportunity for discovery.
• Shifting your internal dialogue to open-ended questions can help keep feelings of overwhelm at bay both by occupying your mind with something other than worry and potentially providing new thinking. You might consider questions such as: “What is something I haven’t considered?” or “What else is possible here that I haven’t explored?”

Feedback Instead of Failure
Curiosity not only eases anxiety; it also offers us a way to reframe failure, which is important because a lack of predictability can also create circumstances where failure may be more likely. Three things we know about life are:  change is constant, uncertainty is always with us, and no matter how valiant our efforts, we are going to experience failure at some point.  It can make your stress levels rise just thinking about it!  One of my favorite affirmations is: “There is no failure, only feedback” and this is where curiosity can come to the rescue again by helping us adopt a growth-oriented perspective. In her article on how curiosity can rewire the brain, neuroscientist Anne-Laure Le Cunff’s this idea and states: “By viewing setbacks as an inevitable part of growth rather than an indication of personal shortcomings, you can transform potentially discouraging moments into opportunity to learn.”  Curiosity allows us to treat failure not as a verdict but as data. Keeping this idea in mind encourages us to approach challenges from the viewpoint of a scientist conducting an experiment, where every outcome (whether expected or not) becomes an opportunity for learning and offers valuable information to guide next steps.

Reframing Failure into Feedback

• Any time you feel you haven’t succeeded at something or have experienced a negative outcome, write down three things you learned. It could be things like: "I learned I need to ask for help sooner," or "I learned what doesn’t work in this situation." Doing this helps shift your mind from defaulting to labeling a situation as a “failure” and instead characterizing it as an opportunity for growth.
• Instead of labeling an event as a failure, conduct a post-mortem. Break it down into: What happened?  What worked?  What didn’t work?  What’s one thing I would do differently next time?  Deconstructing the experience in this way creates a sense of emotional distance by bringing an analytical perspective that is focused on both data and future guidance.
• Start keeping track of small wins on a regular basis.  Perhaps even recording one thing you did well each day. Our brains have a bias for remembering the negative so focusing on progress intentionally and regularly on the positive will help keep your perspective in balance.