Balance the Seesaw

Balance the Seesaw

Over-functioning means “to think, feel or act for someone in a way that lowers their capacity for ownership and effective action.” Even excessive worrying is a form of over-functioning.

Under-functioning is “allowing the behavior of others to diminish one’s own functioning.”

The impact of over/under-functioning is significant and has both personal and organizational costs, including increased burnout, failure to elevate performance, and reduced employee engagement and development.

Over/under-functioning is a form of reactivity driven by the anxiety we feel in a relationship system.

Getting in touch with this anxiety is a key part of untangling ourselves from the pattern. The good news? You can change the over/under-functioning seesaw you are on by looking at your functioning levels. The other side will adjust in response without you having to coax it or will it to change.

All over/under-functioning is held in place by an underlying story. Listen for the story you tell yourself or others about why you must over or under-function, and be curious about the assumptions propping up your story.

Entire teams can engage in the over/under-functioning pattern. If you manage such a department or team, focus on helping your employees see how they contribute to the pattern. Together, explore how you can collectively reduce anxiety and change the team’s functioning in a thoughtful and deliberate way.

Over/under-functioning is always a reciprocal pattern, like a seesaw. You can’t have one without the other. If you are over or under-functioning regularly at work or home, the flipside is happening somewhere else in the system.

Here are some helpful tips:

Balance the Seesaw If You Are Over-functioning

  1. Next time you find yourself thinking, feeling, or acting for someone, pause and ask yourself:
    • How can I be a resource without taking it all on?
    • How might my over-functioning be eroding their capacity for ownership or effective action?
  1. Adjust your functioning and trust the reciprocal nature of the system to rebalance the other side.

Balance the Seesaw If You Are Under-functioning

  1. Next time you find yourself allowing the behavior of others to diminish your functioning, pause and ask yourself:
    • To what extent am I taking responsibility for my under-functioning versus blaming others?
  1. How might I show up in this situation as more well-defined?
    • Adjust your functioning and trust the reciprocal nature of the system to rebalance the other side.
Jim Moyer

Jim Moyer
To learn more about Over and Under-functioning in the relationship system, contact Jim at jimm@resilientleadershipdevelopment.com.