Feeling Tense? Get Curious!
Picture Dana, a project lead in a Monday budget meeting. Ten minutes in, the finance director announces a one-third cut to her team’s funding. Dana’s chest tightens, and she starts defending every line item. The finance director digs in too, and the room grows tenser by the minute.
Then Dana takes a breath and asks, “Help me understand what’s driving the cut.” It turns out a delayed contract has squeezed cash flow for just two quarters. With that on the table, the two of them sketch options together and leave with a plan they both support.
When anxiety rises, our attention narrows to threats and to protecting our position. That focus helps us survive, yet it crowds out the creative thinking a hard moment needs. One curious question widened Dana’s view.
Why practice makes the difference
Neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to rewire itself through experience, means the responses we repeat become the ones we reach for. The more often you meet tension with curiosity, the more natural that response becomes.
Try it this month
The next time tension rises in a meeting or conversation, press your inner pause button and ask yourself one of these questions:
- What is raising my tension right now?
- What is the real roadblock here?
- What can the two of us still agree on?
- What might I, or the group, be missing?
- What question could help us move forward?
The RL Practice
Whatever the mood around you, your response is yours to choose. Choosing curiosity helps you and your team stay calm, stay connected, and stay the course.
Where do you tend to react?
Take the free RL Self-Assessment to see where you tend to react and where you lead with calm.
Take the free RL Self-Assessment →To learn more about how to SEE, THINK and LEAD more effectively using the principles of Resilient Leadership, please contact us at resilientleadershipdevelopment.com.
We’ll be back next month with another practice you can put to use right away. Until then, stay calm, stay connected, and stay the course.