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Resilient Leadership Development

Managing a lot of change? Give your team the clarity they need

RL Practice of the Month
Managing a lot of change?
Give your team
the clarity they need

Resilient Leadership Clarity

Fact:

The human brain craves certainty. When change efforts breed uncertainty, anxiety and reactivity escalates, as does the rumor mill. The emotional system begins to vibrate with greater and greater amounts of dissonance. Rumors become rampant and when passed around the emotional system often enough become confused with fact.

 

Action:

Ask yourself where your team needs more clarity from you. Then communicate clearly, consistently and often. Doing so will calm their anxiety and settle the rumor mill, which in turn will allow people to act more thoughtfully.

Try It:In the midst of a change, repeatedly share accurate information and facts.
Let team members know:

  • The “Why” of the change,
  • The “How” of the change, and
  • The “When” of the change.

And even when you don’t know all the facts about a change (either because they are still evolving or because they have yet to be shared with you) be transparent with your team. Tell them what you do know, what you don’t know, and commit to keeping them in the loop”.

 

Would you like to know more about leading with calm, clarity, and conviction?

 

Spend 3 days with us that you will never forget.

Enroll in our Resilient Leadership Coach Certification where you will work with a small number of colleagues to explore the emotional dynamics that surround all that you do at work, at home, …. everywhere. Our Certification Programs take place: October 17-19, 2019 and May 14-16, 2020.

Need more information?

 

A triangle goes toxic! Reposition yourself!

RL Practice of the Month
A triangle goes toxic!
Reposition yourself!

Fact:Triangles are the smallest stable unit in an emotional system. They are nature’s way of dealing with anxiety. They instinctively form in our social systems in order to establish more emotional safety when stress arises. We all have been there when a triangle “lights up”, often in unexpected ways and with unanticipated intensity. And it can happen in a split second.

  • A colleague at work comes out of the boss’s office fuming and makes a beeline to your desk. “You won’t believe what just happened…”.

Action:How we respond in this situation will either increase or reduce your ability to help calm down the triangle between yourself, the boss, and your colleague. Being resilient in this situation calls you to quickly see the increased reactivity in the triangle, recognize the part you can play to calm things down in the triangle, and take appropriate steps without taking sides.

Some suggestions are:

  1. Avoid feeling sorry for someone, blaming someone or offering solutions.
  2. Listen without judgement and then help your colleague clarify their thinking about what happened in the boss’s office.
  3. Avoid the “togetherness position” which means avoid commiserating or feeling responsible to help your colleague figure out how to patch things up with the boss.
  4. Work to keep communications open between your colleague and the boss.

Try It: This month be on the lookout for triangles around you which would really benefit from a reduction in tension. Think about actions you could take to lower the anxiety in these triangles and decide to take an “anxiety reducing” action. Look for signs of improvement as you practice: Staying Calm, Staying Connected and Staying the Course.

 

For more insight, please enjoy the videos below!


For more information, watch this video of Jim Moyer on transforming triangles!

 


For more information, watch this video of Jim Burns on transforming triangles!

 

Feeling Overworked or Overcommitted? Hit the Pause Button

  • Fact: To overfunction means to think, feel or act for another in a way that erodes their capacity for ownership or effective action. Overfunctioning is an anxious response to stress and includes behaviors such as a failure to delegate, assuming responsibility for another’s work, excessive worrying about another, or telling others what you think is best for them.
  • Action: Next time you feel the urge to step in and do for others, hit the pause button. Be responsible for what is yours to carry, and let others do the same.

 
Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

To find out how resilient you are click here for your free or full assessment.

  • Fact: To overfunction means to think, feel or act for another in a way that erodes their capacity for ownership or effective action. Overfunctioning is an anxious response to stress and includes behaviors such as a failure to delegate, assuming responsibility for another’s work, excessive worrying about another, or telling others what you think is best for them.
  • Action: Next time you feel the urge to step in and do for others, hit the pause button. Be responsible for what is yours to carry, and let others do the same.

 
Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

To find out how resilient you are click here for your free or full assessment.

Facing Resistance to Your Ideas? Don’t take it personally!

  • Fact: Resistance to change is a natural response of all systems because they are designed by their very nature to preserve the status quo.
  • Action: Rather than seeing pushback or resistance as a personal affront to you, view it through a systems perspective. When you are challenging people with new ideas or new ways of doing things, anticipate resistance and learn to see it as a sign that you are doing something right!

 
Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

To find out how resilient you are click here for your free or full assessment.

  • Fact: Resistance to change is a natural response of all systems because they are designed by their very nature to preserve the status quo.
  • Action: Rather than seeing pushback or resistance as a personal affront to you, view it through a systems perspective. When you are challenging people with new ideas or new ways of doing things, anticipate resistance and learn to see it as a sign that you are doing something right!

 
Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

To find out how resilient you are click here for your free or full assessment.

Feeling out of control? Reduce tension first to regain your footing

  • Fact: Anxious feelings are caused by an automatic response to a real or perceived threat. The amygdala (primitive brain) is in the driver’s seat when that happens.
  • Action: Stop and think: “What’s causing me to feel anxious right now? Is my level of concern realistic?” If yes, decide what action is needed to bring control back. If no, see your over-reaction for what it is, smile to and at yourself, and move ahead.

 
Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

To find out how resilient you are click here for your free or full assessment.

  • Fact: Anxious feelings are caused by an automatic response to a real or perceived threat. The amygdala (primitive brain) is in the driver’s seat when that happens.
  • Action: Stop and think: “What’s causing me to feel anxious right now? Is my level of concern realistic?” If yes, decide what action is needed to bring control back. If no, see your over-reaction for what it is, smile to and at yourself, and move ahead.

 
Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

To find out how resilient you are click here for your free or full assessment.

This is not my problem! Really? Test your assumptions!

  • Fact: All overfunctioning and underfunctioning behaviors are part of a larger context—a “story” that rationalizes and justifies why it is essential for us to engage in such behaviors. These false narratives masquerade as objective fact when in reality they are a form of anxiety-driven reactivity.
  • Action: When you suspect that you are over- or underfunctioning in some area, try to put into words the “justification” for why it is “necessary” for you to do so, and then test out that hidden assumption by asking for feedback from a trusted, neutral observer.

Resilient Leadership 2.0

Resilient Leadership 2.0

Resilient Leadership 2.0 by Bob Duggan and Bridgette Theurer was written to help leaders navigate the increasingly turbulent times we face.

  • Fact: All overfunctioning and underfunctioning behaviors are part of a larger context—a “story” that rationalizes and justifies why it is essential for us to engage in such behaviors. These false narratives masquerade as objective fact when in reality they are a form of anxiety-driven reactivity.
  • Action: When you suspect that you are over- or underfunctioning in some area, try to put into words the “justification” for why it is “necessary” for you to do so, and then test out that hidden assumption by asking for feedback from a trusted, neutral observer.

Resilient Leadership 2.0

Resilient Leadership 2.0

Resilient Leadership 2.0 by Bob Duggan and Bridgette Theurer was written to help leaders navigate the increasingly turbulent times we face.

I am really slammed these days. I just don’t have time for small talk

  • Fact: The less frequently you are in contact with friends, colleagues or constituents, the more time and energy it takes to remain connected. Communications naturally become more formal and structured the less frequently they occur.
  • Action: Try starting out this way: “Bob/Gayle, we have not talked in quite a while. I only have about 5-10 minutes or so right now, but it’s been too long since we have talked and I just had to give you a quick call to reconnect”. Bob/Gayle will appreciate the thoughtfulness your call represents, and the relationship will be strengthened.

Resilient Leadership 2.0

Resilient Leadership 2.0

Resilient Leadership 2.0 by Bob Duggan and Bridgette Theurer was written to help leaders navigate the increasingly turbulent times we face.

  • Fact: The less frequently you are in contact with friends, colleagues or constituents, the more time and energy it takes to remain connected. Communications naturally become more formal and structured the less frequently they occur.
  • Action: Try starting out this way: “Bob/Gayle, we have not talked in quite a while. I only have about 5-10 minutes or so right now, but it’s been too long since we have talked and I just had to give you a quick call to reconnect”. Bob/Gayle will appreciate the thoughtfulness your call represents, and the relationship will be strengthened.

Resilient Leadership 2.0

Resilient Leadership 2.0

Resilient Leadership 2.0 by Bob Duggan and Bridgette Theurer was written to help leaders navigate the increasingly turbulent times we face.

EQ + RL = Standing on the Shoulders of a Giant!

  • Fact: An impressive accumulation of research data has shown that leaders with higher levels of Emotional Intelligence have a clear edge on a variety of success indicators over those with lower levels of EQ. Resilient Leadership also helps leaders develop their strengths in the critical areas identified by EQ (self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship management). But RL adds an important skill set not present in the EQ tool kit: A focus on emotional systems + training in how to “think systems”. Leaders with well-developed EQ have testified that RL has given them an additional, invaluable competency and made them even stronger and more effective leaders.
  • Action: Take the “Are You a Systems Thinker” inventory on pp. 158-59 of Resilient Leadership 2.0 and then read the story of Marvin on pages 9-13. The two Core Practices on page 19 provide accessible steps you can take to strengthen your skills

Resilient Leadership 2.0

Resilient Leadership 2.0

Resilient Leadership 2.0 by Bob Duggan and Bridgette Theurer was written to help leaders navigate the increasingly turbulent times we face.

  • Fact: An impressive accumulation of research data has shown that leaders with higher levels of Emotional Intelligence have a clear edge on a variety of success indicators over those with lower levels of EQ. Resilient Leadership also helps leaders develop their strengths in the critical areas identified by EQ (self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship management). But RL adds an important skill set not present in the EQ tool kit: A focus on emotional systems + training in how to “think systems”. Leaders with well-developed EQ have testified that RL has given them an additional, invaluable competency and made them even stronger and more effective leaders.
  • Action: Take the “Are You a Systems Thinker” inventory on pp. 158-59 of Resilient Leadership 2.0 and then read the story of Marvin on pages 9-13. The two Core Practices on page 19 provide accessible steps you can take to strengthen your skills

Resilient Leadership 2.0

Resilient Leadership 2.0

Resilient Leadership 2.0 by Bob Duggan and Bridgette Theurer was written to help leaders navigate the increasingly turbulent times we face.

What is Really Going On Here?

  • Fact: Much, maybe most, of what is going on in life (our social networks) is based on automatic functioning (AKA instinctual responses). We would like to think that our day-to-day action follows a well-considered, thoughtful pattern. Sorry – overwhelming scientific research indicates that’s not true. For the most part, we are being pulled along in the fast-moving and often turbulent currents of our emotions. What to do?
  • Action: Three steps will help.
    First: Simply be more self-observant. Get in touch with your own emotional state. In other words: “Wake Up!”
    Next: Consider your part in the drama unfolding around you. Work at seeing yourself more objectively and then ask yourself, “How is my way of behaving or thinking helping me at the moment?” “Am I acting or thinking in a way that will help me get what I want?”
    Finally: Recast your way of thinking and behaving with an expanded level of self-awareness. Practice “Staying Awake”.

 
Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

To find out how resilient you are click here for your free or full assessment.

  • Fact: Much, maybe most, of what is going on in life (our social networks) is based on automatic functioning (AKA instinctual responses). We would like to think that our day-to-day action follows a well-considered, thoughtful pattern. Sorry – overwhelming scientific research indicates that’s not true. For the most part, we are being pulled along in the fast-moving and often turbulent currents of our emotions. What to do?
  • Action: Three steps will help.
    First: Simply be more self-observant. Get in touch with your own emotional state. In other words: “Wake Up!”
    Next: Consider your part in the drama unfolding around you. Work at seeing yourself more objectively and then ask yourself, “How is my way of behaving or thinking helping me at the moment?” “Am I acting or thinking in a way that will help me get what I want?”
    Finally: Recast your way of thinking and behaving with an expanded level of self-awareness. Practice “Staying Awake”.

 
Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

To find out how resilient you are click here for your free or full assessment.

Don’t be burned!

  • Fact: Burnout is more often a result of feeling responsible for things that are not yours to carry than it is a result of having too much to do on your plate. Both can and do contribute to feeling overwhelmed and depleted, but the former is often an overlooked factor in employee burnout.
  • Action: Reflect on the definition of overfunctioning: To feel, think or act for another in a way that erodes the other’s capacity for ownership and effective action. Consider where and with whom you might be overfunctioning, and whether you might be feeling responsible for things that are not yours to carry. For example, do you feel responsible for others being happy? While you might impact others’ happiness, whether they actually are is their responsibility, not yours. Practice letting go of the burdens and concerns that belong with others and put your energy into doing those things that only you can do.

Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

To find out how resilient you are click here for your free or full assessment.

  • Fact: Burnout is more often a result of feeling responsible for things that are not yours to carry than it is a result of having too much to do on your plate. Both can and do contribute to feeling overwhelmed and depleted, but the former is often an overlooked factor in employee burnout.
  • Action: Reflect on the definition of overfunctioning: To feel, think or act for another in a way that erodes the other’s capacity for ownership and effective action. Consider where and with whom you might be overfunctioning, and whether you might be feeling responsible for things that are not yours to carry. For example, do you feel responsible for others being happy? While you might impact others’ happiness, whether they actually are is their responsibility, not yours. Practice letting go of the burdens and concerns that belong with others and put your energy into doing those things that only you can do.

Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

Resilient Leadership Self-Assessment

To find out how resilient you are click here for your free or full assessment.