COVID – 19? Take Command! Fact: The worldwide pandemic of COVID – 19 is creating escalating levels of fear and anxiety everywhere. For most of us here in the US, the worst is still ahead and in the coming weeks our sense of stability and control will be severely tested. We can and will get
Are You Trapped by the Poorly Differentiated? Fact:Almost every organization/family will, at some point, have a member who behaves in a poorly differentiated way for a time and maybe for a long time. A poorly differentiated person is highly reactive, intrusive of others’ boundaries, and does not take responsibility for self. Frequently they demand a
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The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Really? Fact:he nugget of folk wisdom contained in this familiar saying may seem quaint to the point of being more myth than fact. But there is an accumulating—and by now conclusive—body of research that has documented the extent to which both “nature and nurture” conspire to shape
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Constantly doing too much at work or home? Make a change in 2020. Fact:High levels of chronic anxiety lead to an increase in reactive behavior. One common form of reactive behavior is over-functioning. If we are over-functioning these days, it means that we are thinking, feeling or acting for another in a way that erodes their
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We only truly see what we are looking for Fact:We naturally assume that the ability to see is located in our eyes, since that is the critical organ that we immediately identify as essential for the gift of sight. But science reminds us that the ability to see is located in our brains every bit
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Tired of people coming to you with problems or complaints? Don’t take the bait! Fact: Complaining is a common form of reactivity, and complaints increase as stress levels, uncertainty and change escalate. Sometimes the complaints aren’t even about the subject being raised, but rather are attempts to let off steam and lower anxiety. However, complaints
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What is really going on around here? Fact: Much, maybe most, of what is going on in the social networks of life is based on automatic functioning (AKA instinctual responses). We would like to think that our day-to-day action follows a well-considered, thoughtful pattern. Sorry – overwhelming scientific research indicates that’s not true. For the
Do we grow more from Comfort or from Challenge? Fact: Our body’s immune system grows stronger when it is faced with a virus or manageable threat that it must defend against by growing antibodies. This is at the heart of why immunizations work. The human system strengthens itself by overcoming adversity. Likewise, individuals and organizations
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Managing a lot of change? Give your team the clarity they need Fact: The human brain craves certainty. When change efforts breed uncertainty, anxiety and reactivity escalates, as does the rumor mill. The emotional system begins to vibrate with greater and greater amounts of dissonance. Rumors become rampant and when passed around the emotional system
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A Triangle Goes Toxic! Reposition Yourself Fact:Triangles are the smallest stable unit in an emotional system. They are nature’s way of dealing with anxiety. They instinctively form in our social systems in order to establish more emotional safety when stress arises. We all have been there when a triangle “lights up”, often in unexpected
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